Move, B*tch. Get Out the Way

As women, we love to talk about the shortage of men. How a good portion is either married, in jail, has too many kids or gay. A lot of times, these statistics end up being true. However, what about the women who have access to the men who don't fall into any of those categories? Why are they still single? Well, after much observation, I've realized that it's the women who are blocking their own happiness.

Scenario: Single woman meets single man with no priors. (Priors being the list of stats previously mentioned) Instead of being open minded about what the possibilities could be, woman is hung up on what she sees and doesn't like. Before this man opens his mouth, woman has decided what she considers a deal breaker already. His ears are too small; His head is too big; His shoes are don't match, etc. Now, I understand that everyone has a preference or "type" that they're attracted to, but at what point do you take a step back and realize that your list of wants for this person is bordering on insane? How can you expect to get to know a person when you put up a wall based on the superficial?

There should come a time in every woman's life when she decides to open her eyes and realize that her being too picky will leave her by her damn self. By no means should anyone lower their standards in what is expected from a potential mate. However, when your list touches on how much money they should make or what type of jeans you hate, maybe you need to rethink what is a priority to you. How can you expect happiness and demand the best, when you're not willing to do the work to get it?

Let's talk about the women who will put up with anything just to say they have a man. The man I'm talking about is the cheater, the blatantly disrespectful, the controlling or the lazy non-working bum. Really? Ladies, it's time to take a course in boosting your self esteem. When you remain in a relationship that does nothing but make you cry and hurt, clearly you do not value yourself or your happiness. Being willing to continuously stay in a bad relationship for the sake of your children is no excuse, either. If you're unhappy, your children will be unhappy. Even as babies, children are very intuitive and can sense tension and discomfort, so why subject yourself and loved ones to it?

What about the woman who never took the time to "heal" from a previous relationship? They jump head first into another one, expecting this man to pick up where the last one left off. On the first date, they freak the poor guy out, talking about marriage and babies; and this is all before they've had salad!

Come on ladies, we've got to do better. We've got to stop expecting so much when we're giving so little. We've got to take stock of ourselves before we deem these men "undateable" based on the physical. We've got to stop looking at our friends' relationships and wishing our dysfunctional ones will change into what they have. Finally, we've got to stop standing in the way of our own happiness.