As self proclaimed fashion mavens, we make sure to keep up with trends; what's hot in color, pattern, fabric and silhouette. We get it. Unfortunately, what is often overlooked is the fit of said trend on some of our imperfectly proportioned bodies. A major part of being fashion conscious is knowing what works for your age, particular style and, most importantly, your body type.
Men, just because you secretly liked the way those skinny jeans looked in the display at H&M, doesn't mean that they'll look as good on you. When you're 275 lbs, hippy or hefty in the posterior area, purchasing a pair should not be a consideration. If you didn't get that memo and eventually talk yourself into trying on a pair, please make sure they are the proper fit. Once in the jeans, if zipping becomes a sweat producing workout, they are too tight. If there is bunching around your ankles, it either means you're too short for this look or you're wearing them below your bum, in which case you shouldn't be allowed to wear them anyway.
Women, just because you saw it on the runway, doesn't make it appropriate attire for you. Let's dissect this, as more women recently believe what they see in the mirror is what is seen by the public. For example, if you're pear shaped, the world should not see you in leggings with a form fitted top that falls on your hips. If you suffer from bat wing syndrome (when you wave at someone and your upper arm waves separately from your hand), your sleeves should cover your shoulder down to your elbow. If you have "chichos", most commonly referred to as love handles, a midriff is unacceptable. If you battle with muffin top, or your tummy hangs over the waist of your pants, an increase in a size or three is needed.
Comfort also plays a major part in what selections are appropriate for your wardrobe. If you find yourself tugging on your shirt every time you stand, tucking in a pocket every few beats or straightening your skirt or pants while you walk; you are having a fit issue. Layman's terms, your clothes don't fit!
Everyone has problem areas, but the key to being fashion conscious is knowing how to accentuate the "good" areas while taking focus off of the "bad." It takes hard work and a lot of research, but when done correctly, the reward for dressing appropriately is endless. So, ladies and gents, when putting you're final touches on your ensemble, if you're tugging, tucking and straightening more than you're admiring; change clothes and go!
Friday, April 2, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
What About Your Friends?
Lately and now, more than ever, people are questioning who their true friends are. What does a true friendship consist of? What boundaries exist when it comes to friends? How can I distinguish the genuine from the counterfeit?
Everyone has heard the saying, "Friends come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime." Blah, blah, blah. Why would I consider anyone who is in my life for a reason or season to be a true friend?
Scenario: We meet through a mutual friend, at a social gathering, and we hit it off. We begin emailing, texting and meeting each other for drinks and such. All the while, not including the friend through which we met. While you and I hang out, we laugh, gossip and talk trash about this friend. Now, we no longer associate with this friend because our gossip has forced us to distance ourselves. What we've done is built a faux friendship based on our dislike or envy for the person who each of us considered a friend. The reason for this friendship is to make ourselves feel better about our issues, by intentionally alienating others.
Scenario: We meet at our place of employment. We spend eight to nine hours a day together, it's almost natural that our professional relationship progresses into a friendship. We grasp at things we may have in common, unlike anyone else in the office. Some evenings after working late, we go for a drink or for dinner. Eventually, our after work functions spill over into weekends, vacations and any other social event we come up with. Now, problems at work start causing a strain on your pseudo friendship. One or both of you leave, whether it be by force or voluntarily. The season for this friendship has come to an end. In very rare situations, these friendships may last, but that's only after multiple tests of said friendships have been passed.
Scenario: We met when we were in elementary or middle school, went to the same church and had all of the same circle of friends. We separated for our college years, but we always find our way back to each other. Weeks, even months pass without us being in contact, however, when we do get in touch, it seems as if no time has passed. We never gossip behind each other's backs, anything we have to say, we say to you. True friends know the truth isn't always sweet or what we want to hear, but they'll tell us because it's what we need to hear. When we make mistakes, our friends are there to help us back up and cheer us on while we learn from these mistakes. These friends are for a lifetime.
True frienship is easy and natural. It doesn't have to be worked on like a relationship between a man and a woman. It's not tested by childish games. Jealousy does not exist in true friendship, but genuine happiness for successes do. A true friend does not hate, but admires. Relationships, men or other women cannot come between true friends. If you're in a committed relationship, a true friend won't tell you to leave your significant other or tell you to cheat on them. They don't condone your being unfaithful and will tell you so. If asked advice or for their opinion on your relationship, a true friend will give it willingly and won't take it personal if and when you don't take heed to it. A true friend knows your deepest secrets, shames and regrets and still loves you in spite of them. True friendship is not judgemental or conditional but understanding.
Whatever category the people you surround yourself with fall into, pay attention to the signs. When they reveal their true selves, you will know whether they are in your life for a reason, season or a lifetime. Not everyone is blessed with true friends, so when you are lucky enough to realize who your true friends are, cherish and love them. They are angels in disguise...
"A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and excepts you just the way you are" ~unknown
This post is dedicated to my true friends, who support me in trying times and cheer me on during good times.
Everyone has heard the saying, "Friends come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime." Blah, blah, blah. Why would I consider anyone who is in my life for a reason or season to be a true friend?
Scenario: We meet through a mutual friend, at a social gathering, and we hit it off. We begin emailing, texting and meeting each other for drinks and such. All the while, not including the friend through which we met. While you and I hang out, we laugh, gossip and talk trash about this friend. Now, we no longer associate with this friend because our gossip has forced us to distance ourselves. What we've done is built a faux friendship based on our dislike or envy for the person who each of us considered a friend. The reason for this friendship is to make ourselves feel better about our issues, by intentionally alienating others.
Scenario: We meet at our place of employment. We spend eight to nine hours a day together, it's almost natural that our professional relationship progresses into a friendship. We grasp at things we may have in common, unlike anyone else in the office. Some evenings after working late, we go for a drink or for dinner. Eventually, our after work functions spill over into weekends, vacations and any other social event we come up with. Now, problems at work start causing a strain on your pseudo friendship. One or both of you leave, whether it be by force or voluntarily. The season for this friendship has come to an end. In very rare situations, these friendships may last, but that's only after multiple tests of said friendships have been passed.
Scenario: We met when we were in elementary or middle school, went to the same church and had all of the same circle of friends. We separated for our college years, but we always find our way back to each other. Weeks, even months pass without us being in contact, however, when we do get in touch, it seems as if no time has passed. We never gossip behind each other's backs, anything we have to say, we say to you. True friends know the truth isn't always sweet or what we want to hear, but they'll tell us because it's what we need to hear. When we make mistakes, our friends are there to help us back up and cheer us on while we learn from these mistakes. These friends are for a lifetime.
True frienship is easy and natural. It doesn't have to be worked on like a relationship between a man and a woman. It's not tested by childish games. Jealousy does not exist in true friendship, but genuine happiness for successes do. A true friend does not hate, but admires. Relationships, men or other women cannot come between true friends. If you're in a committed relationship, a true friend won't tell you to leave your significant other or tell you to cheat on them. They don't condone your being unfaithful and will tell you so. If asked advice or for their opinion on your relationship, a true friend will give it willingly and won't take it personal if and when you don't take heed to it. A true friend knows your deepest secrets, shames and regrets and still loves you in spite of them. True friendship is not judgemental or conditional but understanding.
Whatever category the people you surround yourself with fall into, pay attention to the signs. When they reveal their true selves, you will know whether they are in your life for a reason, season or a lifetime. Not everyone is blessed with true friends, so when you are lucky enough to realize who your true friends are, cherish and love them. They are angels in disguise...
"A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and excepts you just the way you are" ~unknown
This post is dedicated to my true friends, who support me in trying times and cheer me on during good times.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Move, B*tch. Get Out the Way
As women, we love to talk about the shortage of men. How a good portion is either married, in jail, has too many kids or gay. A lot of times, these statistics end up being true. However, what about the women who have access to the men who don't fall into any of those categories? Why are they still single? Well, after much observation, I've realized that it's the women who are blocking their own happiness.
Scenario: Single woman meets single man with no priors. (Priors being the list of stats previously mentioned) Instead of being open minded about what the possibilities could be, woman is hung up on what she sees and doesn't like. Before this man opens his mouth, woman has decided what she considers a deal breaker already. His ears are too small; His head is too big; His shoes are don't match, etc. Now, I understand that everyone has a preference or "type" that they're attracted to, but at what point do you take a step back and realize that your list of wants for this person is bordering on insane? How can you expect to get to know a person when you put up a wall based on the superficial?
There should come a time in every woman's life when she decides to open her eyes and realize that her being too picky will leave her by her damn self. By no means should anyone lower their standards in what is expected from a potential mate. However, when your list touches on how much money they should make or what type of jeans you hate, maybe you need to rethink what is a priority to you. How can you expect happiness and demand the best, when you're not willing to do the work to get it?
Let's talk about the women who will put up with anything just to say they have a man. The man I'm talking about is the cheater, the blatantly disrespectful, the controlling or the lazy non-working bum. Really? Ladies, it's time to take a course in boosting your self esteem. When you remain in a relationship that does nothing but make you cry and hurt, clearly you do not value yourself or your happiness. Being willing to continuously stay in a bad relationship for the sake of your children is no excuse, either. If you're unhappy, your children will be unhappy. Even as babies, children are very intuitive and can sense tension and discomfort, so why subject yourself and loved ones to it?
What about the woman who never took the time to "heal" from a previous relationship? They jump head first into another one, expecting this man to pick up where the last one left off. On the first date, they freak the poor guy out, talking about marriage and babies; and this is all before they've had salad!
Come on ladies, we've got to do better. We've got to stop expecting so much when we're giving so little. We've got to take stock of ourselves before we deem these men "undateable" based on the physical. We've got to stop looking at our friends' relationships and wishing our dysfunctional ones will change into what they have. Finally, we've got to stop standing in the way of our own happiness.
Scenario: Single woman meets single man with no priors. (Priors being the list of stats previously mentioned) Instead of being open minded about what the possibilities could be, woman is hung up on what she sees and doesn't like. Before this man opens his mouth, woman has decided what she considers a deal breaker already. His ears are too small; His head is too big; His shoes are don't match, etc. Now, I understand that everyone has a preference or "type" that they're attracted to, but at what point do you take a step back and realize that your list of wants for this person is bordering on insane? How can you expect to get to know a person when you put up a wall based on the superficial?
There should come a time in every woman's life when she decides to open her eyes and realize that her being too picky will leave her by her damn self. By no means should anyone lower their standards in what is expected from a potential mate. However, when your list touches on how much money they should make or what type of jeans you hate, maybe you need to rethink what is a priority to you. How can you expect happiness and demand the best, when you're not willing to do the work to get it?
Let's talk about the women who will put up with anything just to say they have a man. The man I'm talking about is the cheater, the blatantly disrespectful, the controlling or the lazy non-working bum. Really? Ladies, it's time to take a course in boosting your self esteem. When you remain in a relationship that does nothing but make you cry and hurt, clearly you do not value yourself or your happiness. Being willing to continuously stay in a bad relationship for the sake of your children is no excuse, either. If you're unhappy, your children will be unhappy. Even as babies, children are very intuitive and can sense tension and discomfort, so why subject yourself and loved ones to it?
What about the woman who never took the time to "heal" from a previous relationship? They jump head first into another one, expecting this man to pick up where the last one left off. On the first date, they freak the poor guy out, talking about marriage and babies; and this is all before they've had salad!
Come on ladies, we've got to do better. We've got to stop expecting so much when we're giving so little. We've got to take stock of ourselves before we deem these men "undateable" based on the physical. We've got to stop looking at our friends' relationships and wishing our dysfunctional ones will change into what they have. Finally, we've got to stop standing in the way of our own happiness.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
